


Decisions we make, or regret

by Jauregnia



Series: Decisions we make, or regret [1]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), One Direction (Band), X Factor (US) RPF
Genre: Camren - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Narry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jauregnia/pseuds/Jauregnia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lauren and Camila struggle in their relationship when one of them wants the relationship to stay a  secret and the other is ready to commit to the world. In one of their usual fights Lauren decides to tell Camila it is time to start a family in which Camila takes seriously and begins the process. When the results are in, Camila goes into severe depression at a family party right before the girls fly out to start their new tour. Lauren tries to consult her but again is forced to keep their relationship a secret and makes a mistake which leads for her to make a decision, Camila (who later finds out she is indeed pregnant) or Fifth Harmony.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions we make, or regret

There isn’t a single word that can accurately describe Laurens life, complicated comes close to it but it is still far from it. The happy and bubbly girl that once loved life and lived it to the fullest is long gone. Lost along the way of denial, regret, and decisions. She can’t find a reason to smile but she tries anyways, for her fans, they keep her grounded. But how much longer can a girl live in pain with a fake smile on her face in front of the public eye. 

“Lo?” Alexa asked as she peaked through the opened door and walked into Lauren’s dressing room.

Unaware of her entrance Lauren sighed and closed her eyes as tears began to come out. She had enough and being in Miami wasn’t helping her out much. All of the painful memories kept coming back and being in the same mall wasn’t helping her heart.

“Oh Lo” Alexa said coming behind Lauren and bringing her towards the couch. The girls sat down, Lauren’s head on Alexa’s lap while Alexa’s hand played with Lauren’s hair.

“It’s okay Lo” Alexa reassured her best friend, holding her tighter as if it was the last time she could. “I know it hurts.”

“No Alexa, you don’t know because you don’t know what happened” Lauren replied a bit shaky burying her head on Alexa’s stomach. “It hurts so much because I caused it, it was me,” Lauren mumbled but Alexa really understood. 

Alexa never said anything actually no one said anything because they all knew how defensive Lauren got when it came to her sexuality but they all knew that her and Camila were more than just friends.

“Lo, we all knew” Alexa told her as she felt Lauren’s body stiffened. “What do you mean you knew?” Lauren asked and even until this day she was still defensive about the subject.

“It’s time you grow up Lauren because the more time you spent hiding what we all knew was happening the difficult it is for you to move on” Alexa answered coming off a bit harsh but she needed to hear this, it was time Lauren moved on.

“Alexa. I…” Lauren tried arguing lifting her head and moving her body as she sat next to Alexa, a bit uncomfortable. “No, Lauren you pushed her away and for you to sit here crying, it’s kind of hypocritical” Alexa countered not once turning to see Lauren’s face, Alexa had enough.

“Alexa, it was hard, difficult, I couldn’t, we couldn’t” Lauren tried again but was cut short by Alexa. “What couldn’t you do Lauren? Love her in public because you were afraid of what the public would say? You let that little insecurity drive away the love of your life and look where you’re at now” Alexa shared, dramatically standing up not once keeping her tone subtle.

“Lo,” she began turning to see her. “Lo, look at yourself! You’re dating one of the hottest guy, Mr. Josh Hutcherson, you’re in one of the best movies and are about to do your signing at the mall and you are still here dwelling on her, do you maybe ever asked yourself why?” She said kneeling down putting her hands on Lauren’s knees.

“Do you ever ask yourself, ‘am I happy?’ ‘ Did I choose the right path’ because I do, I ask it for you every day and I know you did not choose the right path” Alexa whispered the last part putting her head on Lauren’s knees, her tears evident as well.

Lauren was the type of girl who only thought of herself, her happiness, what she wanted. Never once did she realize that the relationship she built with Camila would ever hurt her friends as well.

“Can I…. can I tell you what happened that day?” Lauren asked shyly because she never told anyone and even if Alexa knew, she didn’t know this. It was time for Lauren to open up, to let the pain go. “Yes, I would like to know for once what goes on in that little head of yours” Alexa replied smiling and taking her seat next to her best friend.

—————

No matter what Lauren did Camila would not acknowledge her and this killed Lauren. Part of her was happy for the results coming out negative but part of her was destroyed because the girl she loved was now shattered. They knew all along that this would be the outcome, first procedures never come out with a positive sign on the pregnancy strip but somehow they were not ready to see the actual failure. Camila laughed it off as she saw it but Lauren felt her, she felt her slowly going into darkness.

It has been five months since the tour. Five months since their argument at the airport regarding whether Lauren will finally come out to her parents, five months since Lauren’s idea to start a family of their own. Yes they were just only in their early twenties but this was Lauren’s way of committing to Camila and Lauren’s way of coming out to her family and friends because she knew this way they couldn’t possibly hate the beautiful being that would be growing inside Camila. Although it was for all the wrong reasons Lauren really wanted this because she did see herself in the future with Camila and little children running around.

“Babe come on we have to go,” Lauren whispered in Camila’s ear. Just earlier today Lauren had woken up with Camila’s hands around her waist, a sign that things might be changing. “I promise it’ll be our night” Lauren said as she knelt by the bed and kissed her forehead. A smile forming on Camila’s face, she was back.

“Promise?” Camila whispered back.

“Promise” Lauren answered as she held her girlfriends hand.

Camila knew that the first attempt would come out negative but part of her didn’t want to believe it because she wanted this more than ever, she wanted that life with Lauren and children. She wanted this to be true so they could leave the group and start their life. And as horrible as she felt for even considering leaving the group that help her find her soul mate, it was time for them to start living. 

“Okay, I’ll wear something sexy” Camila joked and Lauren’s face lit up because they haven’t had any special time since the incident. “No you pervert” was the last thing Camila said before they began to get ready and head over to Lauren’s house.

Going back on tour was something Camila had been looking forward to, especially now that her fantasy had been destroyed. She figured this would help her get distracted, she needed her girls, and she needed her fans.

Camila and Lauren spent a few hours deciding on the right outfit for tonight as well by packing for the next year since they would be on tour for a while. Time went by quickly and romantically.

They arrived at the Jaureguis house and quickly let go of each other’s hands. Until this day Lauren was still scared to confront her parents about her sexuality and is still afraid to open up to her friends about it as well. She saw Camila’s smile turn to a frown because this was something that would have been avoided if the strip had been positive. “I love you” Lauren told her as she opened the door and motioned for her to go first.

The house was packed with family members from both girls and friends going all the way back to their earlier years. Camila’s mood rapidly changed as she saw Marielle and Paula.

The Jaureguis had remodeled the basement into a hangout place for Chris and Taylor but for todays event it had been a place for Lauren and Camila’s friends to hang out. Being all of them in there twenties alcohol was no longer needed to be sneaked in.

“How about an old game of spin the bottle?” Vero suggested as Lucy elbowed her. “Vero that is such a childish game” she replied, grabbing a drink and sitting down on the ground next to her. Even now, both girls where still close; to a point in which Lauren once thought they were together.

“I totally agree, it would relieve old memories,” The voice said and Lauren turned to look at the one and only Paul. “Come on don’t be wimps you two” Alexa said looking at both Camila and Lauren.

“Alright, lets do it” Camila said anxiously standing up and sitting inside the forming circle of friends. Lauren didn’t respond but gave Camila the ‘are you sure’ look which was quietly answered with a nod.

The game was getting boring as the same people kept being chosen to kiss each other, call it faith or cheating, Lauren was lucky neither her or Camila were chosen. “Oh I actually have to head out soon, some of us have families to tend to and children to put to bed” Natalia, one of Lauren’s old friends said.

Camila heard the word children and soon all the memories she’s been trying to forget came back to her head. She hissed a bit at the pain that formed in her chest and Lauren couldn’t do much because she was afraid of what people would say, she gave her a quick ‘are you okay’ look and got nothing back. 

“Oh you fun wrecker, one more spin let’s go,” Lucy said as Natalia spun the bottle and Nat sat back down. The bottle came to a rapid stop on Lauren and she felt Camila’s eye burn a hole on the side of her face.

“Great, now lets see who you kiss, and just for your information its 7 seconds” Lucy assured her and spun the bottle again as it slowly came to a stop on Paul. Gasps were heard but all Lauren could hear was Camila’s no fucking way.

Lauren quickly turned to Camila who was looking down at her fingers smiling as she shook her head. “Lauren?” Lucy asked, “Uhm come on,” she said but Lauren ignored her because she was waiting for Camila’s response.

Camila felt eyes on her and as much as she wanted to feel happy that Lauren was thinking about her she knew what she had to do. Camila slowly looked at Lauren and mumbled ‘choose’. 

Laurens eyes widened when she heard the only word that could destroy everything.

She turned to look at Paul and then at her friends. They were all staring at her confused as they looked at Camila and she felt those eyes already making assumptions. She felt the judgment coming and she knew she couldn’t bare with this. She started to panic, could this be it? The time Lauren can come out? Should she do it? She asked to herself but Lauren did the only thing she could do, kiss Paul.

It had been the most painful 7 seconds of her life but it was over. As she pulled away she looked down afraid to look next to her. The oooh’s and ahh’s coming from everyone even those ‘aww cute couple’ comments but she didn’t hear anything next to her, not even breathing.

She slowly looked to her side and Camila wasn’t there. Emptiness began to over come her. She ran upstairs, panicked, as she still didn’t see her. “mami, have you seen Camila?” Lauren asked rapidly to her mother who was enjoying the conversations with the Cabellos. “Si mija, she said she wasn’t feeling well and was going to go just a second a—“ was all she could manage before Lauren ran to the door and saw Camila putting on her jacket. 

“Camz” she said going up to her but hands pushed her away. “Don’t you dare touch me” Camila’s said as the tears were evident and the anger in her voice stung Lauren. “Camz let me explain. I could—-“ she tried but was cut off. “you what? You couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him? You couldn’t afford the judgment from you family? Friends? Tell me Lauren why on earth did you suggest we start a family? Was this a joke? A way for me to destroy myself by seeing a negative sign and you break up with me? Was this a plan? Fuck you Lauren” Camila said shaky as she opened the door but Lauren grabbed her wrist. “No Camila, I love you I really do its just I—-”

“you don’t Lauren, because if you did you would have chosen me.” She said as her hands began to push Lauren away again. “Just do me a favor and stay away from me, forever.” Where her last words she heard as she saw Camila disappear. 

The night ended quickly. After Camila had left, Lauren couldn’t bare with the pain and told her parents she herself got food poisening and headed for bed. One of the most uncomfortable nights Lauren had. She felt empty, stupid, ashamed, and all these others words that couldn’t possibly explain the feeling of her heart being broken. But she had no one to blame but herself. She cried herself to sleep for the first time since her and Camz got together.

What she didn’t know was that she would wake up to a text that would destroy her life completely.

Simon: Camila has decided to leave fifth harmony, a choice we can’t do anything about. Sorry girls, the dream ends here.

————-

Alexa felt her heart shatter as she heard the story. She knew the reason they broke was because of Laurens insecurity but she never knew it was because of that night. It was one thing being part of it and another seeing it from a different angle. She couldn’t believe how stupid her friend was, how could she possibly have done that to the love of her life? She wanted nothing more but to slap her but she knew that would not be the answer.

“I remember that day Lo” Alexa began “We were going to tell you Lucy and Vero where together” she mumbled as Lauren’s eyes turned to stare at her. “What?” was all Lauren could say.

“Are you serious? Why didn’t you?” she asked a bit of anger behind those words. “Because you left after you kissed Paul. We were going to tell you as soon as your kiss was done and the party ended. It had to be personal” Alexa said reassuringly. “God can I get any more pathetic” Lauren mumbled as she buried her face into Alexa’s stomach.

“Alexa, Lauren has to be out in exactly 20 seconds” came the voice from the door and they knew this conversation had to end but Lauren knew they had more to talk about.

They spent the next 5 minutes fixing Lauren’s make up and getting her ready to meet her fans. Angry voices coming in and out screaming at how much money was being lost due to Lauren’s little crying stunt.

Twenty minutes later Lauren was sitting down at the table next to josh who smiled as he saw his girlfriend but Lauren shrugged him off. She smiled and engaged in conversations with each of her fans. She ignored management and took selfies with those who asked. She loved this. This part of her was something she would never give up, this made her sane. 

Suddenly Lauren couldn’t help but smile as she saw the little boy about 3 or 4 years old walking towards her. She opened her arms and welcomed him in for a hug. She smiled at his shyness and gasped as she saw his piercing green eyes.

“Oh wow, someone has amazing eyes, I bet you get all the ladies” Lauren joked and he laughed not understanding what Lauren had said. 

“Where is your mom little man?” Lauren asked looking around but not seeing anyone. He slowly pointed to a store and she suddenly realized the little boy hand ran from his mom. Poor women must be going crazy looking for her son.

Lauren laughed as she tickled the little boy and began to sign a poster for him. They joked for what seemed like forever until she heard a name being called. “Michael!” the voice yelled but she couldn’t put a face to it.

“Michael! How many times have I told you to not run away from me? Come on, we’re late for the picture with Santa” The familiar voice said again and Lauren was afraid to look up.

The girl was completely oblivious as to who was holding her son for all she cared was for his safety. She was brought to reality as she heard her mumble her name in shock.

“Camila”

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: And this is just the beginning. I most definitely have plans for the one direction boys to join, trust me they play a crucial part in this. So idk if you'll like it but ehh I'm just trying.


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